B Plot
Active voice is a sentence in which the subject performs the action of the verb. In active voice, the focus is on the subject. Passive voice occurs when the verb acts upon the subject, and the focus is on the action. Active voice ensures tighter sentences that pack a stronger punch. Strong writing requires active voice to engage the reader, deepen POV, pacing, and immersive worldbuilding.
Let’s look at some examples to ensure we have a good grasp of the differences.
Example #1
Active voice: The doctor wrote a prescription.
Passive voice: The prescription was written by the doctor.
Example #2
Active voice: The aliens invaded my homeworld.
Passive voice: My homeworld was invaded by aliens.
Example #3 (because I’m a romance writer)
Active voice: She kissed him.
Passive voice: He was kissed by her.
Engaging the reader
Active voice is important to engage the reader. Active voice ensures crisper sentences that aren’t bogged down by needless words, nor do they require the reader to think about the author’s intentions. Every time a reader pauses to work out a sentence, you remove them from the story. Let’s consider the following examples.
Example #1 The houseboat was repainted in yellow by Tom.
Example #2 Tom repainted the houseboat yellow.
Most readers would understand that Tom repainted the houseboat. However, in longer sentences, the reader will have to work harder to understand what is happening.
Let’s review another example.
Example #1 My questions were always answered by my mentor, and when I had difficult ones, an extended session was scheduled to respond to my queries.
Example #2 My mentor always took time to answer my questions, and when I had difficult ones, she would schedule an extended session.
The reader needs to work harder to understand sentence #2.
Deeper POV
Active voice creates a deeper point of view and immerses the reader in your world and story. Active voice ensures the characters are present and active (yes, I need a thesaurus) to drive the plot. Writing in deep POV keeps the perspective of the story centred on the character. A deep POV creates opportunities for the author to show the reader the world through the character’s eyes. The author can use character-specific language, incorporate details only that character with that background would notice.
Conversely, a deep point of view also generates opportunities for the character to miss information, details, and opportunities because they aren’t comfortable, knowledgeable or don’t care about that aspect. Being aware and ignorant of certain details generates opportunities for conflict, problems, and obstacles. In other words, fantastic stuff for stories.
Let’s consider the impact of active voice on point of view.
Example #1 She ignored the blue dress hanging in her wardrobe, but the painful memories of that day crashed against the battered walls of her heart.
Example #2 The unignorable blue dress was hanging in her wardrobe and crashed painful memories against the battered walls of her heart.
Which example is clearer to understand, and which example draws you in more as a reader? In the second example, there is subject confusion. The FMC is the subject of the sentence. She is the one who is reliving a painful memory triggered by the presence of the blue dress. Yet, in the second sentence, the FMC is faded and removed. She’s not present in reliving the painful memories, and she’s secondary to the dress, which creates distance between the story and the reader.
Pacing
Active voice helps with pacing. The character drives the plot when the focus of the sentence and subsequently paragraph, scene, chapter and book. The character is active, problem-solving, working towards a resolution. In passive voice, things happen to the character. The perception of the reader is that the character doesn’t work to resolve the plot.
Example #1: A tire was removed from the tire by Josée before throwing it at her attackers.
Example: #2 Josée removed a knife from her tire and threw it at her attackers.
The second sentence ensures that Josée is active, making decisions, and engaging with her attackers. In the first sentence, Josée is passive and removed from the action, which slows the pacing.
Worldbuilding
Lastly, active voice improves worldbuilding because of deep POV. When you show the world through a character’s eyes, you provide your reader with a unique experience. You’re generating opportunities for the reader to know your character and empathise with them. Many readers won’t continue reading if they understand, relate or like the main character.
Example #1 The summer festival was the favourite of the year for Jean-Michel because his mother brought him there every year.
Example #2 Jean-Michel’s mother brought him to the summer festival every year.
I would add a description of the festival and an emotional beat to create emotional resonance with Jean-Michel to underline the festival’s importance. You can further expand on worldbuilding and contrast Jean-Michel’s impressions of the festival to his friends or family. Perhaps his mother has a different recollection of the event where she was stuck for three days with dozens of children who were high on sugar running half-wild from activity to activity. Perhaps Jean-Michel’s mother’s days were filled with breaking up fights, stopping bullying, applying first aid, and ensuring that one hundred children were sufficiently fed and hydrated. Quite a different experience indeed.
Concluding thoughts
I often slip into passive voice. It happens. Sometimes I can’t think of a better way of formulating a sentence, sometimes I want to hit my word count, and I’ll fix it on the next edit. Other times, I write in passive voice because I’m in a telling kind of mood, only to shudder on the next revision and wipe the slate clean to write in active voice.
Writing in active voice is a skill that everyone can learn. Be mindful of who is doing the acting in the sentence and write to ensure it’s the character driving the plot and not the plot imposing on the character.
Please reach out to me on Twitter @reneegendron to continue the conversation on active and passive writing.
Thank you, @TheJasonOffut, for the topic suggestion.
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